Tuesday, July 21, 2015

1000 sleepless nights

Momma I'm with you. When you're up at 12am and then again at 3am feeding a baby, rocking her in the quiet of the house, staring at her sweet fuzzy head.  Your eyelids droop and you nod off, hoping to catch just a few minutes.

Then you stagger back to bed, only to hear the whimpers of a 2 year old who needs a kiss, tucking them back in bed. You crawl back under the covers and pray for rest. 

And then 2 hours later you do it all again.

I've heard it said "the days (nights) are long but the years are short." And that feels so incredibly true. It feels as if I may never see a solid 8 or 9 hours of sleep again, and I am tired. Bone tired. 

I was listening to Laura Story's Blessings and I heard the verse "what if 1000 sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near..." And I had to laugh. 

In these tired, weary moments God is drawing me to Him. That I may draw my strength from Him (and coffee doesn't hurt either). The strength to weather the tantrums in my most tired state. The strength to cuddle and carry around a 14lb baby all day long who isn't feeling good. And the strength to be fun and engaging to a 2 year old who needs to know that even though there is this new person in the house, momma's love is still SO great for her. 

So tonight, when you're up tending to babies (or toddlers), and you are tired, and at the last string of your rope, know that you're not alone. Because at our house, Gods working on me, too. He's working in my heart, to prepare me to be the kind of mother for harder things ahead. 

And to prepare those blessings that only come through tears. The pearls that begin as little, irritating grains of sand in our Oysters. 

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest" Matthew 11:28