1000 sleepless nights

Momma I'm with you. When you're up at 12am and then again at 3am feeding a baby, rocking her in the quiet of the house, staring at her sweet fuzzy head.  Your eyelids droop and you nod off, hoping to catch just a few minutes.

Then you stagger back to bed, only to hear the whimpers of a 2 year old who needs a kiss, tucking them back in bed. You crawl back under the covers and pray for rest. 

And then 2 hours later you do it all again.

I've heard it said "the days (nights) are long but the years are short." And that feels so incredibly true. It feels as if I may never see a solid 8 or 9 hours of sleep again, and I am tired. Bone tired. 

 

I was listening to Laura Story's Blessings and I heard the verse "what if 1000 sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near..." And I had to laugh. 

In these tired, weary moments God is drawing me to Him. That I may draw my strength from Him (and coffee doesn't hurt either). The strength to weather the tantrums in my most tired state. The strength to cuddle and carry around a 14lb baby all day long who isn't feeling good. And the strength to be fun and engaging to a 2 year old who needs to know that even though there is this new person in the house, momma's love is still SO great for her. 

So tonight, when you're up tending to babies (or toddlers), and you are tired, and at the last string of your rope, know that you're not alone. Because at our house, Gods working on me, too. He's working in my heart, to prepare me to be the kind of mother for harder things ahead. 

And to prepare those blessings that only come through tears. The pearls that begin as little, irritating grains of sand in our Oysters. 

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest" Matthew 11:28

 

potty training...

We started potty training around September/October, and I am already forgetting so much about the process that I wanted to blog about what worked (and didn't) for us to help any other mamma's out there who need some tips, (and to remind myself what we did when we tackle it with #2 in a couple of years.)

Our Potty Training Must-haves: 

1. Potty Chair.  We have 2 bathrooms that are easily accessible to Lucy. We put a potty chair in one and a potty seat in the other, just to see which she preferred. (She seems to like both.)
2. Potty Seat. Lucy and I went to Target together and picked her seat and panties out so that she could play a big part in potty training.
3. Lots of Panties/Underwear. We probably started with about 20 pairs. In the beginning we would go through about 3-4 a day because of accidents; and then there are the accidents where there is no recovering said panties from...
4. M&M's as a reward {One for Pee and Two for Poo.} We used this reward system for 2-3 months, then stopped reminding her about her reward. If she still asked for one after she went, we would give her one, if not we let the reward fade away until she no longer needed it.
5. PiddlePad. We have a Chicco NextFit and it's not the easiest thing to take apart to clean. This PiddlePad saved us on a few occasions with an accident in the car. (It's not perfect though-we did have a couple of accidents that the PiddlePad didn't catch.)
6. Everyone Poops. We read many, many books while waiting for the magic to happen on the potty. Our favorite was (and still is) Everyone Poops. It's so silly and perfect for potty training! We also read A Potty For Me. 

What didn't work for us:

• In this motherhood journey so far, I've learned how individual each child is with the milestones they reach, and potty training is no different! We tried potty training around 18 months and it didn't work for us, and started again after she turned 2 because Lucy seemed ready, and I truly believe you have to watch your child to see when they are ready. We knew she was ready because:   

            *she could tell us when she Peed/Pooped in her diaper    
             *she could pull her pants up and down without a lot of assistance
             *she would go 1 or 2 times a day at daycare when they would take her

• The "Potty Train in 1 weekend" Idea. I started on a weekend when I had 3 uninterrupted days at home with her, but honestly it took 4-5 days before she would tell me she had to go on her own, and then lots of reinforcing in the days after.
• Pull-Up style diapers. These were great for practicing pulling pants up and down but otherwise she still treated it like a diaper. 

What worked for us:

• Running out of pull-ups. We used pull-ups (or the Target brand) during the day so she could practice pulling up/down her pants. When we tried potty training the first time I got so frustrated with the amount of pee and poop all over my house that I gave up and we just gave up and kept on using the pull ups. One weekend, I ran out, and decided if I didn't have any pull-ups to fall back on then maybe we could pull it off. And we did!
• Delaying Night-time potty training. I am pregnant, y'all. And I need my sleep. So we decided to hold off on night-time potty training until I have the energy. She wakes up dry sometimes after nap and never after going the whole night, so I took this as a sign that we weren't ready for that part yet. 
• Timing potty time with a timer the first 3 days. I used my iPhone timer and we would go every 30 minutes the first day, 45 minutes the 2nd day, 1 hour the 3rd and by the 4th day I waited for her to tell me (with me reminding her by asking "do you need to go potty?") 
• Patience. This is not a magical thing, y'all. After we had "successfully" potty trained, she still had poo accidents at school every day for about a month. We finally had to get her a special snowman PEZ dispenser that she would earn after she pooped in the potty at daycare. We reminded her about it every day, made a HUGE deal about it, and about 2 weeks later she was very proud when she had finally earned it! She has also had rare accidents outside playing or in the car, but patience has been the biggest life saver. Coming to terms with the fact that it is not a perfect science, and that accidents will (and can) happen has helped my sanity more than anything! 
• Carrying around an extra pair of pants/panties...just in case!

I hope this helps any of you mammas out there who are trying to tackle the potty-training beast! It is messy and crazy but so worth the pride your little one gets when they can do it themselves, and you know, the whole cost savings of not buying diapers...

Taking lessons from a 2 year old...on Grace

Just about 2 weeks before Lucy's 2nd birthday, we got a nice glimpse into this thing called the "terrible twos".

Our sweet and obedient toddler had decided overnight that her new favorite word was "NO", (which she says with an enormous heap of sass).  Time out became her new favorite place to hang out (we go there about 4-5 times most days), and playtime with other toddler friends turned into a gladiator-style battle of wills over what was "mine" and how many kids needed to be knocked over to get it back.

There's this whole new world of "sharing" and  "gentle hands" and time out. And it can be exhausting. In so many ways. One of our biggest problems we have run into so far is pushing. If another toddler steals her toy, or won't share, or simply is having more fun than her, she pushes them over. 

The first time I witnessed this I was literally stunned. Me and the hubs have never taught her to push. We don't have secret sessions in our house planning strategic ways to get-all-the-toys-from-others. So how do we un-teach something which we've never taught?

As parents, we have never taught her to say "mine" or to push, and it's possible she picked it up at daycare or from other children, but why has it stuck? It is a clear example to me of this thing called sin-nature we all have when we are born into this world. 

"The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other..." Galatians 5:17

So we literally have to fight this sin-nature inside of us, and our child, to choose what is good and what is right. We teach kindness, generosity, gentleness and grace, instead of selfishness, greed and hurting. 

And, the amazing thing to me, in the battle of wills I see after Lucy knocks another child over, is this beautiful thing called grace. She makes these little friends, pushes them to the ground, has a time out, a serious talk, an apology is said, and she goes back to play. By the time she is back, her little friend is ready to embrace her and play again, arms open, all transgressions forgotten and forgiven.

I, too, have my days, where I yell too quickly, or way too much. I find myself getting frustrated and losing patience, and this sweet little girl pours out grace on me. Forgives me, hugs me, and wants nothing but her mommy by her side.

And I am so thankful for that blank slate that starts back over, every time she forgives me or her little friends forgive her. I am so thankful for this thing called grace.

I've decided to rename the "terrible two's" the "grace-filled twos". Because, let's be honest, we can all use a little more grace.

"Sin spread when the Law was given. But where sin spread, God’s loving-favor spread all the more." Romans 5:20 NLV